Confidence in the Face of Aggressive Posturing
My friend “Lewis” had a serious drug problem — even before he was sent to Vietnam. And when he came back, his addiction (to heroin) was even worse. Once "stateside" he made his living and supported his habit the only way he knew how — by dealing drugs and working as the occasional "enforcer" for other larger drug dealers. His was a role in which he forcibly collected on bad drug debts. He spent some years incarcerated and he was involved in a number of violent and lethal incidents both in and out of prison. In fact, he spent time on "death row" for a murder — the charge of which he was later cleared and released. We sometimes call him "bulletproof" because he has been shot on six different occasions including twice by police officers. But as rare as Lewis’ life story is, even more rare is that he truly has changed his life and his way of living and thinking. For over ten years now, he has worked productively as a drug abuse rehabilitation councilor for the state in which he resides. Suffice it to say that Lewis knows the ways and modus operandi of the criminal minds of violent people and how best to handle them. Again, I will use a real-life example to illuminate a frequent aspect in the patterns of thinking of your potential criminal assailant. Lewis was standing on the subway platform when he heard the alarms sound. He looked back to see that a group of about 15 young men accompanied by a few young girls had jumped over the token turnstiles. They ran like a pack of wolves through the crowd of passengers stealing their watches, jewelry, purses and wallets. Lewis was wearing gold chains, among other valuables. He saw one of the girls point him out to her male companions. These dudes looked to be twenty years old. They were large, muscular guys. Lewis was a bit past fifty. When he saw them begin to approach him, he responded by advancing on them first, raising his hands while looking them both in the eye. He calmly asked, "So what’s up here, guys?" The two would-be assailants hesitated a moment and then looked at each other before one said to Lewis, "Hey, this is just what we do down here, man.” Pointing towards himself, Lewis calmly replied, "Yeah, I understand that, but it’s not what you’re going to do here.” The two men realized that, to get anything from Lewis, they would have a fight on their hands. They saw something in his eyes that spoke to their own "frog brains" level of survival that warned them not to tangle with him. Not all you need is the ability to establish a strong verbal boundary with hoodlums to keep them from attacking you. But most certainly this is often where real-world self-defense really begins. In fact, along with the awareness and absolute absence of "denial" as to what was really happening, I know it to be an essential skill that Lewis showed. And, as instructors, we must continually expand our very concept of what self-defense skills truly must involve. Of course you need to have the ability to strike a quick, damaging blow or to affect a brutal throw that sends your enemy solidly to the cold, hard pavement. But we must also develop in our students the capacity to project confidence in the face of aggressive posturing and to strongly project a verbal boundary without challenging the aggressor or otherwise escalating the situation. We are not necessarily born with these essential skills anymore than we are born with the ability to execute a fast and powerful side kick. These awareness and boundary-setting skills must be learned and they must be practiced before the crisis occurs. You may well find that there is a more widespread demand in your community for this type of short-term assertiveness and awareness training than there is for classical martial arts training. Stay alert, my friends, and project reasoned confidence in every aspect and endeavor of your life. This is what true self-confidence really means. u Colorado’s Peyton Quinn is an author, a multi-art black belt and the founder of Rocky Mountain Combat Applications Training (RMCAT). He has become internationally renowned as a teacher of teachers for his unique self-defense program, which is based on adrenal stress conditioning and scenario-based training. |
